Araluen Fanfiction Academy
by Iximaz
Summary: Terrible fanfiction has been plaguing the characters of Ranger's Apprentice. Naturally, they decide to do something about it. Even with the aid of not-so-mini-Kalkara to keep the fanbrats in line, the first year of the AFA is going to be interesting, to say the least.
1. Chapter 1

The glow of the computer in the dark gave Katie's face an unhealthy pallor. She yawned and rubbed at her eyes, determined to get the next chapter of her fanfic published before going to bed— even if it was three in the morning.

_Katillana looked uncertainly at Halt, "I think this bow is to strong for me.", she said. Halt smiled at the elf and showed her how to hold it, "Like this.", he said and showed her how to hold it and stepped back to let her try it. She looked uncertainly at the target and tried to shoot but missed. "Don't worry you'll get it.", Hat said, "Come one lets go in for lunch."_

There, that seemed like a good place to end the chapter. Katie clicked 'Publish', but nothing happened. She frowned and spam-clicked the mouse button. Still nothing. Katie bit back a wail of frustration when a pop-up blocked the screen.

_You have been selected to attend the Araluen Fanfiction Academy! Please click 'Continue' to fill out the form._

Katie rolled her eyes and clicked the little red X in the corner, but instead of closing, the pop-up changed into what looked like some sort of form. Katie peered at the small print at the top.

_Please fill in the form to the best of your ability. We apologize for the inconvenience! —The AFA staff_

Fine, whatever. Maybe filling out the form would make it go away. Name: Katie Bowman. She always liked her last name, it seemed very appropriate. Hair: Blonde. Blonde was much prettier than her plain brown. Eyes: Brown. Species: Wait, species? What kind of weird joke was this? Human, duh. Actually, why not elf like in her fic? That would be funny. Have you written a Mary Sue? Y/N: No, I NEVER write Mary Sues! Have you written slash? Y/N: What's slash?

When she finally answered the last question, the pop-up disappeared. She still couldn't get the chapter to publish, though. Frustrated, she gave it up as a bad job and went to bed.

* * *

"I think that's the last of them," Alyss said when a scroll appeared on the table in front of her. She unrolled it, raising a delicate eyebrow. "Interesting. Another who listed her species as 'elf'."

"Chuck it in with the rest of them, then," Iximaz said, jabbing a thumb at the bin labeled 'Elves'. "The Scribeschool apprentices can finish filing them before term starts tomorrow."

Alyss nodded and got up to place the scroll in the bin, sighing. "Will's rather nervous," she said, pausing by the bin. "Most of the fangirls arriving tomorrow have him listed as their primary Lust Object." She didn't look too pleased; after all, the man in question was her husband.

Iximaz nodded. "I can't blame him. If it'll make him feel any better, I can assign another two minis to him. Does that sound okay?"

Alyss smiled. "I'm sure he'll appreciate it." Neither of them said what they were both thinking: Will Treaty, who had faced down Wargles and Kalkara, commanded a squadron of archers against the Temujai, and was generally known as one of Araluen's greatest Rangers was scared of prepubescent girls. But then again, few things were more terrifying than an all-out fangirl stampede, and if things didn't go smoothly tomorrow, that's what they would likely be facing.

* * *

**Ranger's Apprentice belongs to John Flanagan. Credit for the OFU concept goes to Miss Cam. Thanks to Darkotas, Desdendelle, and Hieronymus Graubart for beta reading. If you're interested in enrolling in the AFA, just leave a review with the following form filled out:**

**Name:**

**Hair:**

**Eyes:**

**Species:**

**Have you written a Mary Sue? Y/N:**

**Have you written slash? Y/N:**

**RA country of origin (Araluen, Skandia, Hibernia, etc.):**

**Number (and titles of books read, if you have not completed the series):**

**Lust Object(s):**


	2. Chapter 2

Katie woke to the sound of screaming.

It started as a lone girl, who was quickly joined by another, and another, and when Katie opened her eyes, she screamed, too.

She and several hundred other girls and boys about her age were in what looked like the great hall of a castle, though without any tables. Torches lined the walls, which were covered in rich tapestries. Standing up on a dais where the head table would have been, several people, three wearing mottled green cloaks and two not, were watching the crowd. Standing behind them were some massive hairy things that looked like a cross between an ape and a bear, with yellow eyes that gleamed hungrily.

"OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD WHERE AM I?" Katie shrieked. She looked down at herself and realized she was dressed in linen breeches and a simple cotton shirt. A strand of badly-bleached hair fell in her eyes, and she screamed even louder when she realized it was her own. Putting her hands on her head, she discovered a conical hat of some sort that seemed to have fake ears attached to it. It resisted all her attempts to pull it off. Looking around, she noticed a fair number of students were wearing hats like her own: white dunce caps with cartoonishly large elf ears.

Up on the dais, Iximaz and Halt exchanged glances. Halt raised an eyebrow and inclined his head slightly towards the crowd, which was quickly escalating into dangerous levels of hysteria.

"Fine, fine, I'm going," Iximaz said, cupping her hands around her mouth. "EVERYBODY SHUT UP!" she bellowed. When that didn't work, one of the mini-Kalkara behind her roared.

The crowd fell silent and looked fearfully towards the front of the hall.

Katie gulped when one of the uncloaked people, a young woman, stepped forwards and crossed her arms over her chest.

"All right, listen up, you lot!" the woman shouted. "You're here because you've been discovered to be writing bad fanfiction about _Ranger's Apprentice_. Luckily—"

"Bad fanfiction?!" a girl beside Katie yelled indignantly. "My story has over a hundred reviews!"

"Mine has two hundred!" a boy across the room yelled.

The crowd started chattering angrily, but another roar from the hairy monster brought silence.

"As I was saying," the woman continued, though she sounded distinctly irritated, "luckily for you, we're here to remedy that. I'm Iximaz, Course Coordinator for the Araluen Fanfiction Academy, but you will refer to me as Miss Iximaz, or Miss Ix if that's too much for you to remember." Miss Iximaz began pacing, her thick boots falling noiselessly on the stone floor, one hand drifting to the saxe knife in her belt.

Katie swallowed nervously. What had she gotten herself into?

"Here at the AFA, you will spend a year learning how to write good fanfiction instead. At the end of the year, if you've done well, you'll be sent home at the same time you left and your writing privileges will be restored." Miss Iximaz stopped her pacing and looked back at her companions. She said something too quiet for anyone to hear, then turned back to the crowd. "These will be some of your teachers," she said. "Will, Halt—"

Katie and everyone else squealed loudly when they suddenly realized who was up on the dais with Miss Iximaz. Katie bounced up and down in an effort to get a better look. Will was just like he'd been described, though shorter than she'd imagined.

A lone girl suddenly ran forward, screaming, "I LOVE YOU, WILL!"

Katie nearly missed what happened next. In the space of a second, Will had nocked an arrow, drawn, and fired, the arrow striking the floor between the girl's feet. The girl shrieked and jumped back, sobbing. "But Will, I love you!" she cried. "Don't you love me, too?"

Miss Iximaz rubbed her forehead and waved at a pair of the furry monsters, who had already started lumbering towards the girl. "These are mini-Kalkara, and they'll be acting as our security guards," she said, ignoring the sobbing girl as she was dragged away.

"_Mini?_" Katie muttered to herself.

The girl beside her nodded. "Oh my God, I know! That thing's as tall as Miss Ix!"

"You try anything stupid, like glomping canons, you'd better pray it's the minis and not the canons who deal with you," Miss Iximaz continued. "Unless you'd like to find yourself with an arrow between your eyes, I suggest you leave them alone."

One of the cloaked men tapped her on the shoulder and muttered something.

"Aaand apparently that's all the time we have for today, so everyone please line up at the door, and a Scribeschool apprentice will direct you to your quarters!"

As the students moved, grumbling about bad writing, Iximaz looked apologetically at her companions. "Well, that could have gone better."

"It could have gone worse," Horace pointed out. "But I do wish you'd been able to introduce me."

"Do you really want those little terrors after you?" Will asked, nodding his thanks at Gillan when the mini-Kalkara handed him his arrow. He put it back in his quiver and shuddered.

"At least nobody stampeded," Gilan pointed out. "I was at the OFUM the other day on an errand and saw that Legolas guy being chased by thirty girls."

Halt raised an eyebrow. "Only thirty?"

"I know, I was shocked, too."

Iximaz cleared her throat. "We could go on down to the kitchens for lunch since we're done here— Horace, what are you doing?"

The knight had gone running to the doors, dodging around the fanbrats who tried to glomp him. "Jenny's making broiled lamb!" he yelled over his shoulder.

Halt coughed. "Unless anyone else wants to run after him, I suggest we take the back route," he said. Will and Gilan laughed and followed their old mentor to the small door in the back wall.

Iximaz lingered for a moment, watching the students. George, who was overseeing the Scribeschool apprentices, caught her eye and nodded. Satisfied that everything was under control, Iximaz followed the other canons to the kitchen of the newly-rebuilt castle of Gorlan.

The AFA's first year had officially begun.

* * *

**_Ranger's Apprentice_ belongs to John Flanagan. Credit for the OFU concept goes to Miss Cam. Thanks to Darkotas, Desdendelle, and Hieronymus Graubart for beta reading. If you're interested in enrolling in the AFA, just leave a review with the form from chapter one filled out.**


	3. Chapter 3

Katie was directed to the west wing of the castle. When she reached her door, her last hope of a luxurious tower suite was quickly dashed. It looked like the students were going to be sleeping in the newly-rebuilt servants' quarters. Sighing, she opened the door, stooping slightly so her dunce cap wouldn't get caught.

Four girls looked up when she entered; Katie was relieved to see one of them was also wearing the same stupid hat. At least she wasn't alone.

Her relief didn't last long when the room's fifth occupant popped up from behind one of the beds. Katie shrieked and jumped back when the hairy, red-eyed beast tried to glomp her.

"Hi! I'm Lucy!" the beast said in an unnaturally high-pitched voice. It— she? smiled at Katie with unnervingly-large teeth.

"Don't mind her," a girl with curly red hair said, smiling at Katie. "She got it into her head to put 'Wargal' as her race." She eyed Katie's hat. "So, Elf Girl, want to tell everyone your name? I'm Molly Bishop."

"Katie Bowman," Katie said, edging away from Lucy the Wargal.

A Japanese-looking girl near the back of the room waved. "I'm Aubrey Cortez, and I'm from Nihon-Ja! I've read _Anne of Green Gables_, and the _Harry Potter_ series, oh, and _Ranger's Apprentice_, of course, and—"

"What's… Knee Hinge?" Katie asked over Aubrey.

One of the girls, her brown hair badly streaked with green, facepalmed. "Christ, did you even read the books?"

"I've read the first two," Katie said defensively.

"Leave her alone, Lynne," Molly said, giving Lynne a nasty look. "She wouldn't be here if she wasn't a shitty author, right?"

"Hey!" Katie protested.

"Yeah, no need to be rude!" the other girl with the elf cap said, jumping up. Her skin was the bright orange of a bad spray tan.

"I wasn't being rude, Raechel, I was pointing out a fact," Molly said, crossing her arms. "We're all here because we write crappy fanfics, weren't you listening to the lecture?"

Raechel stuck her nose in the air and grabbed Katie's arm, pulling her over to the last bed. "We elves need to stick together," she whispered, winking.

Katie grinned. "Elves are awesome," she agreed.

"Not to mention completely uncanon," Lynne said, rolling her eyes. "It's no wonder you're here."

"Oh, yeah? Then what are you doing here?" Katie asked, sticking out her tongue.

Lynne huffed and looked away.

Katie and Raechel looked at each other and giggled.

"So, this is supposed to be some kind of school?" Katie continued, lowering her voice.

"I think so, yeah. At least that's the vibe I got. A school for writing _Ranger's Apprentice_ fanfiction. Why do we need to go to school to write fanfic?"

"Ohmigosh, I know!" Katie cried. "It's like, uh, hello, it's just _fanfiction_, who cares?"

"I know! It's not like it's published or anything! I had some flamer tell me to get a beta. Who has time to get a beta?"

"What's a beta, anyway?"

"I think it's some type of fish. How's a fish supposed to help me write?"

"I write just fine without fish!"

Molly and Lynne exchanged exasperated glances. "Hey, dumbass," Molly called, "betas are people who check over your work to make sure it's up to snuff."

"Oh, that's nice," Katie huffed. "If you're so smart, why are _you_ here?"

"Because we're all shitty authors, I told you. The difference is, I _want_ to get better. If what you've said so far is anything to go by? You _need_ to."

"What a bitch," Raechel muttered.

The room went silent save for Aubrey, who seemed determined to list every book she'd ever read.

A knock at the open door made them all look up. A Scribeschool apprentice was standing in the doorway, a stack of parchment in his arms.

"Schedules," he mumbled, handing everyone a parchment. He ran off as soon as he was done.

Katie looked down at her schedule and groaned. Basic Writing? Araluen Royalty? Spell Check Programs? _Foreign Studies?_ Ooh, Romance and Shipping, that looked like fun!

"Hang on a second," Lynne said slowly. "Our first class here, History of the Rangers? It says it started ten minutes ago."

"But Miss Iximaz didn't say we had classes today!" Katie wailed, as everyone else ran to the door.

"Never mind that, let's go let's go let's go!" Molly shouted, and disappeared around the corner with her roommates in tow. Katie suppressed another wail and ran after them.

* * *

It took them another ten minutes to find their classroom, and when they arrived, they were panting and out of breath. Katie's shirt was sticking to her with sweat.

The class was mostly full, and the room itself was quite bare save for still more torches on the walls. At the front of the room was a large desk with an enormous stack of textbooks piled on top. Halt was standing next to the desk; it was still weird to see a fictional character walking around like a real person.

Halt's face was hidden in the cowl of his cloak, so the girls couldn't see his raised eyebrow as he said, "So nice of you to finally show up."

"Wasn't… our… fault," Molly panted, clutching a stitch in her side. "Just… got our—"

"Does it look like I care? Sit down," Halt said, pointing at the remaining empty desks.

"But—" Katie protested.

"_Sit_."

They scrambled for the empty desks. Halt ignored them and turned back to the class.

"As I was saying before I was interrupted, after we finish going over the founding of the Ranger Corps, we'll move on to the early years—" Halt paused. A grubby blonde girl in the third row had stuck her hand in the air. He consulted the seating chart briefly. "Yes, Frida… Rossetti?"

"My friend told me how you and Lady Pauline were a thing now," Frida said breathlessly. "Did you two have fun on your honeymoon?"

"You're _married?_" at least half the class shouted, Katie included.

Halt smiled at them. It was the sort of smile that told the more intelligent students that they were dead meat. "Shocking, is it? In fact, since you seem to be so surprised, perhaps I should take the opportunity to enlighten you. I want a book report on _Erak's Ransom_ by tomorrow; spelling counts. Now then—"

The class burst into angry chatter. This was so unfair! Katie clenched her fists. How was she supposed to read an entire book _and_ write a report in one night?

Halt just stood there, expressionless. If they didn't calm down in five seconds, maybe he'd have them help Old Bob clean out the stables.

Someone seemed to realize they were just making the situation worse, because a boy in the back yelled, "Shut up, guys! He's giving us his Halt look!"

The class settled just as Halt reached a mental count of one. Shame.

"I don't want any more outbursts," Halt said, his voice dangerously low. "And the next person to ask me a personal question will get to clean out the school's chamber pots, understand?"

The class muttered that yes, they did.

"Good." Halt pointed at the stack of textbooks beside him. "One row at a time, get a book, go back to your seat, and turn to page ten. Read the chapter quietly."

Katie slowly made her way up to the front to get a book. As she passed Halt, the girl behind her, Frida, whispered, "Halt, I just wanted to say, I might not have read the books, but if you're ever interested in someone youn—"

Halt spun, grabbed Frida, and threw her down on the floor, knocking the wind out of her. Frida lay still for a while, gasping for air. The room was so silent you could hear a pin drop.

"I think we've found our first volunteer for latrine duty," Halt said calmly. He sat down behind his desk, put up his feet, and pulled his cowl even further over his head. "Page ten, everyone."

* * *

**_Ranger's Apprentice_ belongs to John Flanagan. Credit for the OFU concept goes to Miss Cam. Thanks to Darkotas, Desdendelle, and Hieronymus Graubart for beta reading (and not being fish). If you're interested in enrolling in the AFA, just leave a review with the form from chapter one filled out.**


	4. Chapter 4

"We've got another misfiling," Crowley noted, flipping through the folder in front of him. "One Nestael, no last name, writes _Lord of the Rings_ badfic. Looks like her character is _a_ ranger's apprentice and she misunderstood the categories. Somehow."

"How the heck do you do that?" Iximaz asked, stifling a snort.

Crowley just shook his head and placed the folder on top of a towering stack of misfiled OFUM applications. "I'm still wondering how that Nac Mac Feegle slipped through. Anyway, I'll ask Gilan to take these to OFUM tomorrow."

"He can't, he's got classes all day," Iximaz said, thumbing through another file. "I could ask the kid who's coming in from the PPC to do it."

"The one who will be teaching the Spell Check class?" Crowley asked.

Iximaz nodded. "No offense to you guys, but nobody from your continuum knows how to work a computer, much less a spell check program," she said.

"None taken."

* * *

When the bell rang, Katie slammed her textbook closed, relieved to be getting away from Halt. She and the rest of the students hurriedly left for their next class, Horsemanship.

Katie had never seen a horse in person before, and she'd certainly never been to a stable. It looked like she wasn't the only one, because when everyone got a whiff of horse manure, quite a few students pinched their noses shut or pulled their collars over their noses. Katie made a face. Who knew horses could smell so bad?

Only one horse seemed to be present, its head hanging out of its stall. It was a shaggy brown beast with a coarse black mane, and it nickered when it spotted the class.

"'Ello there, new students!" an old man's voice said from behind them. They parted to let the man, who looked positively ancient with a dirty white beard, through to the front.

"Are you Old Bob?" Lucy asked.

"Naw, Old Bob's me dad. I'm Young Bob."

"_Young?_" Raechel murmured to Katie. Both girls giggled.

Young Bob pointed a gnarled finger at the hay pile in the corner. "If yeh want to see me father, 'e's prob'ly sleepin' in there."

"He sleeps in the _hay?_" someone whispered.

"Now then," Young Bob said, going over to the horse's stall and unbuckling what looked like a mess of straps, "'oo can tell me what this is?"

"A halter," Molly said.

Young Bob smiled, displaying his missing teeth. "Good, good. Nice to know someone knows 'er stuff! C'mere." He waved Molly forward. "Want to get Bam-Bam there outta 'is stall?"

Molly took the halter thing and looked around. "Do you have a lead rope?"

"Heh, nice to see a smart 'un. Lead ropes're o'er there." Young Bob nodded at a row of hooks along the back. When Molly went to get a rope, Young Bob turned back to the class. "Now then, while the lass is gettin' Bam-Bam out, anyone 'ere e'er rode before?"

A girl and a boy near the front put up their hands, as did Molly.

Young Bob frowned. "You young'uns are a sorry lot, aren't yeh?" He shook his head, muttering to himself.

Molly came back with the lead rope and slid open Bam-Bam's stall. Katie edged sideways so she could watch. Molly somehow managed to figure out how the halter worked, because she slipped it over Bam-Bam's nose and fastened it around his neck without a problem. He stamped his hooves— _bam_, _bam_— but allowed her to lead him out. Young Bob nodded at Molly and took the lead rope from her, going into an explanation of basic horse care.

"This is stupid," a boy muttered.

Young Bob's head snapped around. "Yeh think this is stupid?" he barked. "I'll tell yeh what's stupid! Yeh little fanfic authors! I've 'eard o' some o' your stories, an' I've yet to see a fic what treats them poor horses proper! Runnin' 'em for days an' days without stoppin', leavin' 'em tacked up o'ernight or e'en longer, makin' 'em act mindless! Yeh see Bam-Bam 'ere?" Young Bob pointed angrily at several bare patches on the horse's back and belly. "The Sue what used to ride 'im ne'er untacked 'im an' 'e got saddle sores an' girth rubs somethin' awful."

Katie looked more closely at Bam-Bam. Her eyes widened when she realized that the hairless patches were actually scars.

"Horses are majestic creatures an' deserve to be treated with respect," Young Bob continued, more softly this time.

Of course, that was when Bam-Bam lifted his tail and farted loudly.

"You call that majestic?" Lynne muttered.

"'e's still more majestic than your sorry self," Young Bob said sharply.

Lynne pursed her lips and crossed her arms, but didn't respond.

Young Bob eyed the class for another moment as though daring them to speak before returning to his lesson on horse care.

All in all, Katie decided, the class wasn't nearly as nerve-wracking as Halt's had been. She was now very relieved she hadn't gotten around to introducing her OC's elvish horse, Starlight.

It was almost disappointing to leave, though Katie was extremely grateful to be back in the fresh air. As she headed back up to the castle for her next class, Spell Check, she wondered just how that was going to work. They hadn't discovered electricity in Araluen, had they?

That didn't seem to concern Raechel. "Finally! I can't believe it's been so long since I was able to check my email, it's been, like, horrible!"

"We only got here yesterday," Lynne pointed out.

"I know! There's no telling what might have happened since then!"

Lynne rubbed her eyes. "Raech, I get the feeling they're not gonna let us get on the Internet."

Raechel looked like someone had struck her over the head. "What?!"

Molly and Lynne exchanged exasperated glances. "Well, duh," Molly said. "They don't want us getting on any fanfic sites and posting more stories about them, do they?"

Raechel's lower lip trembled. Katie put an arm around her shoulders and gently steered her along the corridors to the classroom, quietly seething at the fact that Lynne and Molly were probably right.

Those thoughts were driven out of her head when she looked into the classroom to see glowing computer monitors lining the walls, each one displaying a blank word processor ready for use. The only person in the room was a boy of about fifteen or sixteen years, dressed in cargo pants and a black _Minecraft_ t-shirt with a patch of a smoking swivel chair pinned to the sleeve and a tool belt around his waist. He was easily six feet tall and very skinny, with tousled blond hair and a nervous grin. Katie wondered who he was; since none of the others were squeeing over him and he was wearing modern clothing, she doubted he was supposed to be a canon character.

"Hey, guys," the boy said, giving a small wave. He seemed nice enough, though he was eyeing the class warily like he didn't trust them.

"Wait, what are computers doing here?" a girl with an elf hat asked. "I thought this was going to be a magic lesson!"

The boy groaned and dragged a hand down his face. "Everyone take a seat and I'll explain things in a bit, alright?"

"Why do we have to listen to you?" another girl asked snidely. "You're not a canon. And I bet I'm older than you."

The boy shrugged. "Well, I'm still your teacher. If you don't like it, I can always make you clean out the chamber pots." He eyeballed the girl until she backed down. "Okay, now that that's out of the way… hi, again, everyone. Um, I'm Alex Dives, and I was sent by the PPC—"

The girl completely lost her head. "PPC?! You guys flamed my story!" she shrieked, lunging at him.

"Sandra, no!" another girl yelled, trying to grab her, but Sandra was already out of reach. She charged Alex, fists raised. He yelped, sidestepped, and grabbed for something in his tool belt. A split second later, Sandra's feet were encased in a block of ice. She windmilled her arms, trying desperately to not fall on her face.

"Wow, you're nuts," Alex said, putting away what Katie could only assume was a freaking ice gun. "Right, you have toilet cleaning duty—" He paused and snickered. "Heh, duty. Um, I mean, yeah, for trying to attack a teacher and a PPC agent. And for the record, I'm not in an action department, though my sister is. Feel free to take any and all complaints to her, I'm sure she'll listen, considering she has to waste her time chasing down badfics you created. That ice should thaw in a few minutes, so please don't attack me again, alright?" He looked around at the silent class. "Um, you guys can sit down…"

While the students went to take their seats, Katie hesitantly approached Alex. "Um, hi."

"Hey," Alex said carefully.

Katie couldn't help but notice his hand drift to his ice gun. "Oh, no, I'm not going to attack you or anything," she said quickly. "I was just wondering how the computers are getting power."

Alex's face lit up. "That'd be thanks to DoSAT," he said. At Katie's blank look, he elaborated. "Department of Sufficiently Advanced Technology." He tapped the patch on his sleeve. "I'm an intern there and they decided this would be 'good experience' for me. That, and they couldn't spare anyone else to teach a bunch of fanbrats." He paused. "No offense."

"None taken," Katie lied through her teeth.

"Anyway, a couple of the technicians rigged something up— can't tell you how, that's a secret— so Araluen gets its own little corner of the world where computers work. Mind you, there's no Internet connection," Alex added, raising his voice so everyone could hear, "so don't bother trying to post your fics!"

There was a collective groan.

Alex turned back to Katie. "You'd better sit down, class got delayed with psycho girl—"

"Hey!" Sandra yelled.

Alex rolled his eyes and nodded at an empty seat. Katie hurried to sit, then spun her chair around to face the center of the classroom when Alex cleared his throat.

"So, we're going to be starting with the basics. Very good place to start." He swallowed several times. "Right, so, welcome to Spell Check class. The purpose of this class is to make sure you guys are better equipped to not make silly spelling mistakes, which can lead to bizarre world distortions, unfortunate transformations, minis—"

As if on cue, a bluish hole in the air opened in the middle of the room and a mini-Kalkara lumbered through. The hole disappeared and the mini snorted, looking around curiously.

"...Like that," Alex finished, dragging a hand down his face. He hurried to the door and called for a passing Scribeschool apprentice. "We got a new mini, can you take it to Security?"

After the mini was taken away, Alex returned to the center of the room. "Alright, where was I? Oh, right! The basics. So, guys, if you could please face your computers..."

* * *

**Ranger's Apprentice belongs to John Flanagan. Credit for the OFU concept goes to Miss Cam. The PPC is the creation of Jay and Acacia and is written for with Permission. Alex Dives belongs to me. Thanks to Darkotas, Desdendelle, and Hieronymus Graubart for beta reading. If you're interested in enrolling in the AFA, just leave a review with the form from chapter one filled out. But please, everyone, let's try to tone down the silly, over-the-top applications a bit.**


End file.
